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and all the roads we have to walk along are winding
the fire in your heart is out
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a Girl and a Dragon
"For a happy life is joy in the Truth."

Fearlessly I must stand in order to constantly pursue the Truth. Every moment can be observed, for every moment can be a teacher of Truth. That is the most sacred of teachings, because nothing is more important than the Truth behind All Things.
I am tired of sleeping and not facing what is Real; I no longer want to be apart of the superficial Fake. There is no value in that, and life is nothing but of concrete principles that must be learned and taken to the Heart, courageously. The True Path of Life is not easy, because climbing to the top is a test of endurance and will power. We are constantly challenged, and I can most certainly attest to that. But I will not give up, and I will free myself of the demons that haunt me.

"Is it possible that I am an entirely different person than I imagine I am?"

Coming to the Truth of All Things will most definitely reveal to me that I am, indeed, an entirely different person than I imagine myself to be. Imagination and Fact are two coldly-opposed worlds.
26th-Jul-2008 04:40 pm - Whatever is on the Winds
Make a Wish
Personality Type Report for Dear XX Heart
Your Personality Preferences

You are social and outgoing. You are most comfortable when with other people and experiencing the world first hand. Interaction with others and first hand experiences energize you. It is not unlike you to start conversations with strangers. You have a preference for the outer world: people, activities, and things. Other people provide you with a mirror, sounding board to help you develop ideas and plans. Being alone may sap your energies. Your concept of the world is derived from experiencing it firsthand and then drawing conclusions.

You usually gather information with your senses: what you can see, hear, taste, touch and smell in the physical world. The facts gathered from the sensory data you process are the building blocks of your model of our world. You concentrate your energies on what actually exists and do not ponder what might exist too much. You are usually practical and rely on your common sense to guide you through the world. You see things as they are and have little or no need to search for underlying meanings.

You like decisions to be made as soon as possible. You are not comfortable with loose ends and like to see conflicts resolved as soon as possible. You have a preference for a well-structured, orderly lifestyle with few surprises. It may not be all that important who makes the decisions that gets things done as long things do get done. You take commitments very seriously. While you are not inflexible, you do like to stick to a plan once it is set into motion.

You make decisions subjectively based upon your values and what is important to you. How people will be affected by your decisions is important to you. You are likely to make decisions based upon what you feel is acceptable and agreeable rather than what is logical. Your truths are founded in your values and those of the society you live in. It is important to remember that we are discussing how you evaluate data and make decisions, and that you rely on your feelings to do so in no way implies you are overly emotional.

Your Personality Type

You approach life with enthusiasm, and are very social and charming. You are compassionate, agreeable and cooperative. You like to be helpful-- an asset and want to be needed. You can be relied on to see things through. You're trustworthy and loyal. You do not like conflict. Harmony is definitely your ally. You do not like to be alone for too long, if at all.

In relationships you are compassionate and considerate. You can be very talkative at times, and will strike up a conversation with almost anyone. You try to see the best in people. You are not one to take a stand that will offend others. You like attention and need validation of your value from others. Social status is important to you. You can be counted on to keep family and social traditions alive and well. .

Famous People of Your Type:
William McKinley, William J. Clinton, Jack Benny, Desi Arnaz, Don Knotts, Terry Bradshaw, Sally Struthers, Mary Tyler Moore, Steve Spurrier, Sally Field, Danny Glover, Nancy Kerrigan, Elvis Stojko.

Occupations Suited to Your Type Include:
Athlete, bookkeeper, caterer, coach, counselor, flight attendant, stylist, interior decorator, nurse, secretary, teacher, and telemarketer.
Speak the Unspeakable
"Don't try to go against the sense of the universe. But before hand, make sure to know the sense of the universe."
-the Rock and the Saber

Interesting phrase. I found it in an old journal entry and promptly saved it while deleting a past post of delirium-filled writings of a memory I'd rather not rethink about or go over passionate words detailing old emotions. Nevertheless, I quite enjoyed the way in which I wrote, expressing myself so perfectly. Something I do indeed want to, and feel need to, pick up again ; it is such a brilliant way to exhale outwards what is all inside my heart and soul.

In any case, I am on summer vacation and taking up my time however best suits my fancy. I am completely thrilled I no longer have studying pressure upon my back, and though that is the case, sometimes I find myself wondering just how well I did do on my oral examinations. Whatever that final result be, I cast away such pondering for I have to wait until July 4th for such results.

I just feel fresh, renewed, ready to make the most of this summer vacation ahead of me. I want to grow, indulge in only what makes me feel whole and best. As such, writing. Reading some of my past entries was just entirely motivating and encouraging. Perhaps going into journalism is really a right path for me, hmm? I am curious and do love to write, such a career could possibly and indeed fulfill me.

I am just waiting to be filled, moved. Like a good shoe taken off after an agonizing walk, or the moment you find your Beloved in your embrace once more after a wait just seemingly too long, I feel entire release. It is like I can breathe again.
5th-Oct-2006 10:42 pm - hey, don't write yourself off yet
a Girl and a Dragon
The cool air reeked of autumn. Grass blades quivered against the breeze as they shimmered a fresh green, revitalized from fall rains. Small, white flowers peeked their presence about the large, elongated property as they flourished in the month of October. If one would look closely enough and let their heart be captured, sparkling specks of light would be caught floating casually away from these delicate petals. A certain eerie feeling could be distinguished in a moment of silence if one had senses sharp enough to detect such a subtle part of nature's magick. Faeries loomed amongst the wild gardens, dancing and festing to their delight, just enough human management to keep nature in check while letting earth, air, sun and rain play with the elements.

The earth was uneven, mounting upwards and curving downwards. Some sections were seeded with grass while others were open to the elements. Dead pine leaves, a rusty copper-brown, were scattered and mixed upon the ground, dirt and twig creating a soft cushiony layer. Large pine trees obviously adorned this section of the fenced-in property, with numerous stumps, razed closely to the ground, reminding the large trunks of past brothers that once equally shared the land. Humans treaded upon such soils, the beauty neglected with just enough management so no unwelcomed disturbances would arrive by fault of winds or snow uprooting unwanted pines. The family occupying the large property had settled 13 years ago, but the Natsu's were not foreigners to L'Iola. In the late 1800's, the first Natsu came from Italy and made his life in such a humble grove. And since then the times had changed, but in the hands of a woman, more change would come about.

A bead of sweat rolled down from the side of her forehead as she looked up from her work. The last piece of paint had been chipped off, an affair that had taken 12 days. But as Leah scanned the 12 putput holes, she smiled in satisfaction. Now the painting could begin.
Back in the day her house had been a well-known restaurant, the large property formatted with 18 putput holes adding to the business.
a Girl and a Dragon
I feel like there is a child
Screaming, shaking-crying, scared
Inside of me.
My eyes flit around
Searching, confused, looking
At everything so wildly.
It's like my hands are to my head,
Gripping at my hair, clenched fingers
Desperate to make it stop.

Maybe I will be able to properly finish this poem, because it is not done. I scratched out a lot of verses and this is what remains because it is the only part I liked. One day, but not today, hopefully I will finish composing it.

"Love was like a tooth ache. When Otsu found herself occupied, it did not disturb her; but when the memory took a hold of her, she was taken by the urgent need to leave again by way of major roads, to look for Mushashi, to find him again, to pose her hand against his chest in shedding tears of blissfulness."
"Of all the grief that bombarded human beings, the one that ate away the most, the most pitiful, the most torturous, was to not lay your eyes on the being that you pined for."
the Rock and the Sabre, Eiji Toshikawa
26th-Sep-2006 06:16 pm - Cover Up
a Girl and a Dragon
We will share a secret
And her delicate fingers brought the feather-tipped point nearer to the blank page.
The black ink was in position
With swirls ready to be traced.
'What will you write?' Hazel hues peered upwards away from the sheet, tendrils of near-black hair swept back along her cheeks.
A reflection was there, formed.
Lips curling into a coy smile, the end of the pen was bit playfully between her teeth.
A little agression, too.

A small parcel of words was soon made with drying ink.
The hand covered with slightly sun-kissed skin ran over the still white portions of the page,
And pinched a corner
Cracking the wrist, flicking it to the side
Bringing the paper with it
A secret was shared.

A cool, gleaming surface was now eyed,
Hazel pools squinted at the glass.
Her hand shot forward and pressed the paper to the face looking back at her.
The white rectangle then covered what she saw
And reverberated what she felt.

Looking glass. O! looking glass leaning so innocently against that wall
Slapped now against you, a truth behind the outside appearance of a shell - cobwebed cover up, shades of discomfort, parcels of discontent, curving ideals, envies of glistening destruction, inside me, from you to all.

The words
Against the face that would be reflected
In the mirror that betrays so much.
19th-Aug-2006 08:39 pm - a Gift from an Angel
a Girl and a Dragon
"This is what you should practice noticing [the lighteness of others around you]. Then you can see what you have come from and where you are going. Don't dwell, but do notice as noticing is permitted, in a good way.
Your ease of being will grow larger and larger. You don't need to learn a thing. Just see it with your heart so that it has something pleasant to eat.
Hearts need nutrition like everything. Thank goodness yours still has an appetite and isn't all anorexia nervosa.

So, you have formally been given permission to grow your heart beyond what you have known. This is MY gift to you.
It means to let the subtle good things that flow to you from others go into your heart with nothing to impede them. No guilt. No anxiety. No blocking.
It is what you have needed for quite some time. You have remained loyal beyond reason. That is part of the anger.
I know it's a bit tough to get. Loyal to the small heart supply that comes your way from "here". Lightness is a quality of heart. Heaviness is also. Heaviness has a dense specific gravity (chemistry) and holds whatever is near it back, it's gravity pulling on those near it.
By chemistry I meant that every element has it's own specific gravity. Aluminum molecules have a different specific gravity than say Helium molecules. More heavy attaching attraction. Hard for things to break free from.

And you don't even have to TRY. It's there. All you have to do is notice it and WHAM, it does the rest.
It's a good thing to HAVE. You have always HAD it, but just weren't able to SEE it because, like a fish, you had no idea that there were other qualities of water. Clearer water, more healthy water, on and on and on. Like the Detroit River versus a mountain stream.
So baby girl. Just shine on and let others shine in. And if someone feels too dense, rock steady and move on."
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